Self Harm / Self Injury

Alternatives to Self Injury

Many people try substitute activities as described above and report that sometimes they work, sometimes not. One way to increase the chances of a distraction/substitution helping calm the urge to harm is to match what you do to how you are feeling at the moment.

First, take a few moments and look behind the urge. What are you feeling? Are you angry? Frustrated? Restless? Sad? Craving the feeling of SI? Depersonalized and unreal or numb? Unfocused?  

Next, match the activity to the feeling.  

A few examples:  

Angry, frustrated, restless  

Try something physical and violent, something not directed at a living thing:  

• Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock.

• Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at. Cut and tear it instead of yourself.

• Flatten aluminum cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go.

• Hit a punching bag.

• Use a pillow to hit a wall, pillow-fight style.

• Rip up an old newspaper or phone book.

• On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture.

• Make Play-Doh or Sculpey or other clay models and cut or smash them.

• Throw ice into the bathtub or against a brick wall hard enough to shatter it.

• Break sticks.

• Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.

• Crank up the music and dance.

• Clean your room, or your whole house.

• Go for a walk/jog/run.

• Stomp around in heavy shoes.

• Play handball or tennis.

• Scratch/draw a picture on a thick piece of wood or use a screwdriver and stab at a piece of wood.

• Take the item that you are self-injuring with and use it against something else. For example, if you are using a razor blade rip it across a towel or plastic pop bottle. Sometimes seeing what "can" be done to an object can make a person think twice about using it on themselves. Can also give the feeling of "doing it".

Sad, soft, melancholy, depressed, unhappy

Do something slow and soothing:  

• Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles.

• Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book.

• Babying yourself somehow.

• Do whatever makes you feel taken care of and comforted.

• Light sweet smelling incense.

• Listen to soothing music.

• Smooth nice body lotion into the parts of yourself you want to hurt.

• Call a friend and just talk about things that you like.

• Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read.

• Visit a friend.

• Instead of harming yourself, try massaging the area you want to harm with massage oils or creams, reminding yourself that you are special and you deserve to treat yourself and your body with love and respect.

Craving sensation, feeling depersonalized, dissociating, feeling unreal  

Do something that creates sharp physical sensation:  

• Squeeze ice hard (this really hurts). (Note: Putting ice on a spot you want to burn gives you a strong painful sensation and leaves a red mark afterward, kind of like burning would).

• Put a finger into a frozen food (like ice cream) for a minute.

• Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root.

• Rub icy-hot under your nose.

• Focus on what is real and around you right then. Start lists of things around you in detail i.e. color, texture, smell, shape, etc.

• Slap a table hard.

• Snap your wrist with a rubber band.

• Take a cold bath.

• Stomp your feet on the ground.

• Focus on how it feels to breathe. Notice the way your chest and stomach move with each breath.

Wanting focus  

• Do a task (a computer game like Tetris, or minesweeper, writing a computer program, needlework, etc.) that is exacting and requires focus and concentration.

• Eat a raisin mindfully. Pick it up, noticing how it feels in your hand. Look at it carefully; see the asymmetries and think about the changes the grape went through. Roll the raisin in your fingers and notice the texture; try to describe it. Bring the raisin up to your mouth, paying attention to how it feels to move your hand that way. Smell the raisin; what does it remind you of? How does a raisin smell? Notice that you're beginning to salivate, and see how that feels. Open your mouth and put the raisin in, taking time to think about how the raisin feels to your tongue. Chew slowly, noticing how the texture and even the taste of the raisin change as you chew it. Are there little seeds or stems? How is the inside different from the outside? Finally, swallow.

• Choose an object in the room. Examine it carefully and then write as detailed a description of it as you can. Include everything: size, weight, texture, shape, color, possible uses, feel, etc.

• Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses, and try to list 30 different uses for it.

• Pick a subject and research it on the web.

Wanting to see blood  

• Draw on yourself with a red felt-tip pen.

• Take a small bottle of liquid red food coloring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its' tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food color trickle out.

• Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you've made by dropping six or seven drops of red food color into each of the ice-cube trays.

• Paint yourself with red tempera paint.

Wanting to see scars or pick scabs  

• Get a henna tattoo kit. You put the henna on as a paste and leave it overnight; the next day you can pick it off as you would a scab and it leaves an orange-red mark behind.

Another thing that helps sometimes is the fifteen-minute game. Tell yourself that if you still want to harm yourself in 15 minutes, you can. When the time is up, see if you can go another 15.

Another option is to phone a crisis line. rainn.org has a good search engine for the United States.

RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline 1.800.656.HOPE    

Disclaimer: This site contains information to be used only for the purpose of support and general education. It should not be used for diagnosis and/or treatment of any physical or mental conditions. It is owned, designed and maintained by a healing survivor in recovery. The author of the general text is the owner and that general text remains the property of said owner. Other materials used on the site come from various authors and will have the author credited and those materials remain the property of said authors with copyright information included when and where it is available.  We assume no liability for the contents or effects of this site. Some of the content may be disturbing. Read at your own risk. If you believe you are suffering from a physical or mental condition seek help from a qualified professional physician, psychiatrist, psychologist or therapist; a crisis center; or call 911.

Recommended Online Support Group
for those who have been diagnosed with DID
and are in treatment for healing with a professional,
and for those professionals who treat those with DID:

Multiple Paths To Healing - DID

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